GRATEFUL FOR GROWTH

Not too long ago, I dug up my childhood diary and read my diary entries. From laughing at myself to squirming, it was an emotional rollercoaster. For some of my entries, I had no words for myself, and as I read others, I half wanted to go back in time.

Writing this down made me remember how I felt when I had to watch some video clips from when I was younger. The cringe that came with watching those clips is really unexplainable. At some point, I’d make a comment like, "Oh, Ayomide! What was that?" A particular video clip from when I was ten got me rolling. It was during an interview that I was asked about how many books I intend to write. The next thing I said was, "I’m going to write a lot of books; before the age of forty, I might end up writing thirty-five books!" When I watched it, I just exclaimed, "Thirty-five books before I’m forty? I’m seventeen, and it’s two books down, thirty-three more to go!" I just kept laughing and asking myself, "Where did that even come from? Thirty-three books in thirty years? How does that even work out?!" I guess I’ve been a lazy kid with biggggggg dreams right from the start.

As I progressed in my diary entries, I noticed a number of things. Of course, the improvement in my handwriting was evident (my handwriting at the beginning of my diary could almost draw tears from my eyes), but I noticed something more important: growth. There was a gradual change in my thought process, my views, and my decisions. As I observed and studied that change, I found myself relating more to my younger self instead of wondering why she was who she was.

I can’t say for sure that I’ll no longer feel embarrassed whenever I recall a random childhood memory, but I can certainly say that I’ll be more willing to laugh off my actions than dwell on them for too long or wish to go back in time.

If I could go back in time now, I highly doubt that I’d change a thing about my younger self; she did grow up to be who I am today.

We must note that our present selves will one day become our younger selves. One day, we’ll look back at the things we’re doing right now and might end up feeling embarrassed about them. But in this moment, the things we do, the way we think, and our reactions are really important to our present selves, and the last thing we’ll want is for someone to make them feel less important. Even if that someone is our older selves.

When we next remember something we said or did while we were younger, instead of letting our cheeks light up with embarrassment, let’s take a minute to appreciate our younger selves and, more importantly, to be grateful for growth!